Hay una fiesta en mis pantalones
by SpiritOfTheEssence
Summary: The Twilight Characters at the mercy of three super hyper girls. The title means There's A Party In my Pants...Major OOC


**A/N: Hey whaz up peoples of the world and beyond. This author's note is coming from the dining room of ma BFF's Katie's house. I'm Paige (I share an account with my other friend Caroline and we are Purple With A Purpose.) This is just a little story we decided to write one day when we were really hyped up. Oh, credit must also be given to our friend Anna, who helped come up with this story. Thanks for stopping to click, Enjoy! oh and by the way the title means There's A Party In My Pants! **

Happy bunny land was overjoyed with… oops wrong story. Aah here we are. it was a cold and dreary night as rain poured down from the heavens upon the Cullen's manor. In the highest tower of the Cullen Castle, Edward was pondering his sexuality. Was he gay? Was he straight? Or was he somewhere in between?

"Eureka!" cried Edward.

"Oh, perk up Jasper."

"Well sorry Alice, that I'm PMSing!"

"Well you should be a little more chipper about it. Come, be HAPPY. Lets go to happy bunny land! YEAH!!" Alice cried jumping up and down. Across the room Emmett was flexing his muscles and Rose was staring in the mirror… again.

"Why can't I have muscles like that!?" Jasper burst into tears and began to sob. Bella suddenly walked in the room… and tripped on the air… again.

"Why can't I trip like that!?" Jasper wailed.

"Does anyone know where Edward is?" Bella asked while recovering from her fall. Then, of course she tripped again.

Rosalie tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and then said "I think he is pondering his sexuality again."

"Oh that's good." Bella said, relived he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary.

" Yes, it is good" Esme said floating into the room. "It's important for Edward to be at one with his body. Oh, Alice could you help braid these flowers into my hair?"

"I am so beautiful." Rosalie sighed from the couch.

"Why can't I be beautiful!? I HATE BEING THE UGLY ONE AAAAAH!" Jasper screamed "I'm gonna give myself an emo bang and listen to depressing music." Renesmee walked into the room and towards Bella, who was trying not to lose her balance. Renesmee put a hand to Bella's cheek and questioned what Carlisle was doing.

"Good Lord, what is Carlisle doing with that banana? Oh my God!! Honey you shouldn't be watching people do- Oh I never tried that one before. I'll keep that in mind for when Edward stops pondering his sexuality…" Jacob suddenly burst into the room, grabbed Renesmee, and took off cackling,

"My precious."

"He took my baby! Someone stop him, I've been robbed!" Bella shrieked pointing toward the fleeing Jacob.

"Hmmm, Jacob stealing Renesmee, that doesn't happen everyday." Rose muttered sarcastically.

"You'll never take me alive" Jacob laughed manically running towards the Cullen's garage.

"Come back here Ja-" Bella suddenly tripped on nothing and made a face plant in the dirt. Jacob jumped into the shotgun seat of Alice's yellow Porsche.

"Drive, Leah, drive!"

"Only if we're stopping at Taco Bell. I can't take this hunting stuff and that whole dirt thing, uh" The 'Getaway' car pulled out from the garage and sped off down the driveway. Bella could still hear Jacob's evil laughter.

"You can run wolf boy, but you can't hide!"

Back in the house everyone seemed preoccupied with their own selfish needs. Except for Esme who sat meditating in a circle of glowing candles. Edward strutted into the room with his hand on his hip. He picked up a glass and a spoon and began banging them together. No one seemed to notice.

"Um, excuse me I'm making an announcement. Geez, I mean come on listen to me." He banged the glass louder. Everyone sighed and looked at him with no interest. "Thank you, now as I said I'm making an announcement. This was a very big decision for me so don't try and convince me other wise I've made up my mind."

"Whatever just get on with it before I lose interest. There is a limited amount of time I can go before I have to look in the mirror." Rosalie looked anxiously at the mirror on her lap.

"Well, I've decided to become a transsexual. There I said it."

"MAKE OVER TIME!" Alice shrieked. Everyone else just starred at Edward for a minute before returning to whatever they had been doing previously.

"What, I make this huge life changing decision a this is all I get. Well, how insulting." He crossed his arms and turned away.

_Bang_

Carlisle appeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Edward, as the wise fatherly person in this story I must ask you to think carefully about your decision."

"I have master"

"Well, then my work here is done. Time to give Jacob some words of wisdom about stealing children."

_Bang_

Carlisle disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

A/N: So yeah that's the first chappie. We would like some reviews before we go post a second chapter just cause we wanna know that you guys are liking the story… Yeah we don't mind flamers right Katie- Chan… (Katie- uh yeah sure I can just find them later on and eat their children) We hate children. Sorry but we just don't. They bother us. And any young-uns left unattended will be sold to the circus. Bye.

Future Pairings shall be featured should we decide to continue:

Edward X Golom (From LOTR)

Emmett X Voldemort

Rose X Nun

Rose X sharpie

Charlie X Renesmee

Edward X Voldemort

Emmett X Sam X Voldy X Leah


End file.
